Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Juan - "My Little Bro!"

My Little Bro!
by Juan

When my dad told me I was going to have a little brother, I stood frozen. How was I going to react? My head was heavy, filled with questions. My heart was pounding; my body was an ice cube in a freezer. I knew this was going to be a long day. I worried that my 10 years of being loved would soon be blown away. His birth would ruin my life. “Erg!” I yelled.
March 22, 2004 I saw my little brother’s face. All my worries disintegrated. I thought I was in heaven. His face was so chubby. He was dressed in all white. He looked like an angel. “He’s so cute,” I said. How could I not love him?
Eventually he got older and well… my worried turned out to be founded. He always got more attention than me. Jealousy burst into my body, flowing in my blood through my veins. Once when I had a soccer practice, I told my parents I needed to go. They didn’t respond. Was I talking to myself? I wondered. I got so mad my face was flaming hot like a burrito just out of a microwave. I just left.
When I got home, I opened the door gently. My parents were there. “Oh no! I’m toast,” I whispered. I remembered the last time I got in trouble and my parents yelled at me. I was six years old. They yelled at me for being late getting home from my friend’s house. They had to come and pick me up, but I didn’t show up. They looked and looked for me and finally left. My friend Fernando’s mom drove me home. Their anger rushed at me as soon as I opened the door. They were scared, but they acted angry. It had been so scary I promised myself to never get in trouble again. Until now.
My parents got mad at me for not telling them I was going to my soccer practice. “I tried,” I told them, “so I just left.” I told my mom how I felt, and she understood. She promised to stop paying more attention to my little brother. My mom did keep her promise with my brother but she had another baby – a little sister!
“My anger at my little brother has lessened,” I said, playing Batman and Robin is pretty fun. My little brother always has to be the leader, even though he is smaller and younger than me. Sometimes I’m nice to Henry, but I can’t always be that way. If I am he will start bugging me. But, I understand his plight. He’s the youngest boy, so he probably feels lonely. He needs me – I’m his only brother. We need to stick together even if he bothers me! And just wait until I tell you about my little sister “now that’s a disaster.”

8 comments:

  1. Juan,

    1. I liked the details in your story - like when you said your body stood still when you were worried.
    2. I thought that how you felt about your brother in the beginning was very real and honest.

    3. You are a great speller, and you use good vocabulary.
    Jose

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. i like how you admitted your jelous of your little brother.
    2. i thought you described your ctf, cr really well

    3. you had fantastic word choice, and use of dialoge
    Justin H

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1.I liked how you said that jealousy ran through your blood and viens.
    2. I have a connection to your story because when I went to one of my dirtbike races my nephew was born.
    3. you had really good discription and very good personifaction

    Ruben Parra

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  4. 1. I think you had great vocab like plight!

    2. i could also feel how you must felt with your desicetion like a burrtio coming out of the microwave and i can also have a conniction because my stepmom is pregnet!

    3.i also liked how you described how you felt

    ReplyDelete
  5. Really good personification.

    I had lots of connections with your story.

    Nice description.

    Kameron Moroneso

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  6. Really good description especislly at your beggining with your heart pounding.

    Nice dialouge at the part where your parents get mad at you.

    I liked your vocab alot. Nice story

    Kameron Moroneso

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like your vocb. Also I think you wrote your persenality great. Keep up the good work!

    Stefani Cervantes

    ReplyDelete