Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Alex ~ "Best Friends"

aanew school. Suddenly, a thousand thoughts raced through my mind. My dad said encouragingly, “Just get in there, Sweetie!” He gave me a push, and I stumbled into the room. It felt dark and scary, as if there were a thousand little eyes staring at me. Then, I saw the beautiful, exciting eyes and the warm, welcoming smile that changed my life forever.

I heard, “Come sit next to me.” I dashed over to the empty seat next to my soon-to-be best friend. Her name was Nina, and her eyes sparkled like the stars that shine above. Her hair was a beautiful chocolate brown. I could have sworn she was my angle sent from Heaven. Whenever I was around her, she made me feel like the sun that warms me on a cold day. When we started talking, we could not be stopped. We talked the whole day, including during the lessons; unfortunately, we got in a little trouble for that one. The teacher told us, “You should talk at recess, not in class!” It was embarrassing. I quietly chuckled and got back to work.
A few minutes later the bell rang, and we walked onto the brightly colored sidewalk. I notice a face...a face of pure evil. Her hair was like deadly rattlesnakes, and her eyes were like blood-sucking leeches. Fear struck me like a lightning bolt. She stomped by where we were standing; danger squeezed my stomach and warned me to be careful. As the bully walked by, I was relived she hadn’t stopped. She mumbled a few words under her breath as she passed. I wasn’t sure, but I knew I didn’t want to find out. Nina said, “It’s OK! We didn’t want to be her friend anyway.”
I would spend much of that year avoiding the bully. Nina would spend much of the year comforting me. Her friendship assured me there was hope. I’ve always been secure and independent, but Nina helped me realize I can’t live alone.

4 comments:

  1. 1)I liked your description on how you and Nina became such close friends.
    2) I also liked how you walked in your class room and it looked like there was a thousand little eyes staring at you.
    3) I like your last sentence but i think it could be a little more powerful.
    Elyssa Fuller

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  2. Alex,
    1. I really like you friend Nina just from your story because if I were in you situation and I was the new little girl in school, I would really like someone to comfert me and care for me. So props to her!!!

    2. I think you described your feelings and your thoughts verry well.

    3. I think the whole plot of the story was verry creative and I think that your writing is spectacullar!!! So keep it up Alex!!!
    Good job!

    -Heather

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  3. I liked how you discibed your characters and how a lighting bolt hit you when she stomped by

    I liked how your emotions and your Characters Thoughts and Feelings were

    I liked how you had a lot of diolog and how you guys talked during class.

    You did a fantasic job
    Jamee

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  4. Your introduction painted a picture for me. I loved it!

    I could see Nina! Wow! Great description.

    I could see the rattlesnake haired, blood sucking leeche eyed bully. Scarey!

    You should be a writer!
    Caitlin

    ReplyDelete