Monday, December 1, 2008

Ruben Parra ~ "One of the Best Day of my Life"

One of the best days of my life

As we were heading down the road of the canyon, a little bit outside of Afton’s city limits, I looked out the window and saw it was a winter wonderland. The trees were frosty white. When we got to the hill, as soon as the truck stopped, I got out and went straight for the snow. I plunged my head in the snow. The only real reason I do that is because it cools me down and it’s just fun. I heard ice hit metal I pulled my head out of the snow my dad started the motor and backed out of the trailer and came by me I could see the marks on the ice the blades had made, I couldn’t believe it, I was going my on first snowmobile ride.
“Well come on,” my dad said happily.
“Were we going?” I asked curiously.
“To the top of that hill”. he said I looked up in amazement that hill was at least a 50% grade there was no way we could make It, I knew we were not going to make it. I kept on thinking that, just standing there looking up when my dad startled me by saying
“Well, are we just going to sit here and waste gas or we going up”?
“Lets get going” I answered. I jumped on and off we went. The trees were beautiful. Some had so much snow they were slouching. They looked sad, as if they heard an army of a million lumberjacks were coming. When I looked at the snow covered ground the snow was like itsy-bitsy little crystals, shinning in the sun like a new piece of gold. Suddenly, I was sliding off the back seat. I hit the ice, cold snow with a loud thump. My dad just kept on going like nothing happened. Once he realized I was gone he looked back and I was rolling head over heels. Fear covered my dad. He was thinking maybe I was going to hit a tree or a rock or something hard. Fear hadn’t only visited my dad it had visited my too, and it was staying. I hit a bump, went flying at least two feet in the air and hit the ground with a thump again. But this thump was louder. My dad was relieved when I stopped rolling. He headed back down the hill to my position. Fear left my body and all the other things came back in. Zoom, my dad passed me coming down the hill. He turned around to come back and I got on.
“How was your fall?” my dad said trying to be funny but not succeeding.
“It was good besides the lung crushing part,” I sarcastically said. We started up the hill again. We were almost to the top I couldn’t believe that we were actually only about three feet away. Then I heard a sputter. My dad realized what was happening, but I didn’t. He pushed the throttle as hard as he could but it did no good. The snowmobile sank deeper and deeper and the finally my dad stopped. We tried to dig it out but it only made it worse. It took us two hours to get it out by then it was time to go home so we went back down the hill loaded up the snowmobile. As we got in the truck I felt good to be leaving after rolling down the hill and trying to dig the snowmobile for two hours and then finally leaving I got in the truck and we went. I always wonder if they’ll be any more days like that since the divorce. When divorce came in and ruined everything it all just went away like dust in the wind
By ~ Ruben A. Parra
One of the woerkthsitalkjoejr

5 comments:

  1. I thought your story was awesome and that you had very good description and that it had very good action when you fell down the hill.

    I thought it was awesome how you said I looked out the window and saw a winter wonderland.

    I liked how you had very good characters thoughts and feeling.

    Cameron Campbell

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  2. I thought your story was great and that you had very good action when you explained how you fell down the hill.And how you explained how divorce can be very hard.

    I thought that one of the sentence that you said "When divorce came in and ruined everything it all just left like dust in the wind" Was a great way to end your story.

    I liked how you expressed your feelings and thoughts through out the hole story.

    Sandra Tzompa Sosa

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought you story was great and that you had very good action when you explained how you fell down the hill. And also how you explained how you divorce can be very hard.

    I thought that one of the sentences that you said in your story"When divorce came in and ruined everything it all just left like dust in the wind" Was a great way to end your story.

    I liked how you expressed your feelings and thoughts through out the hole story.
    Sandra Tzompa Sosa

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ruben your story is so cool.
    I like to go snowmobiling also
    I have gone to Afton.
    By Danny Morales

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1) you had great explanation about you setting
    2) i loved the sarcastic dialoge

    3) i can connect when that happened to me on my first snowmobile ride
    great story!
    Justin H

    ReplyDelete