Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Danicia - "The Beach"

The Beach
It was a normal day in the morning when I heard my aunt and grandparents calling my name, “Lizeth!”
“What?” I answered.
“Come here,” they said. First, when they called me all together, I thought I was in trouble. They sounded mad. But when I ran into the room, they all yelled at once, “We are going to the beach!”
“Why are we going to the beach?” I asked.
There was a long silence. It was kind of creepy, but then my grandparents said, “We are going to meet your dad, Sweetie.”
I was really excited because I didn’t even know my dad. He was in the United States working hard so he could buy me clothes, toys and, send money for the family. I always wondered about my dad. What did he look like? Did he love me? Would he be fun to play with? Why did he have to go? Would we ever be a family? In my five years, I had never known him. Excited and nervous, I packed for our vacation. When I stepped out of the car I felt a warm air come toward my face, hot brown sand under my feet, the blue fresh water, and a ton of people playing different games and building castles beside the blue salty ocean. The strong, blue waves breaking toward the big sand castles. In the ocean were a lot of children playing with their parents, splashing the water everywhere.




Then, I saw a tall man. At first I thought he was going to help us with our bags, but then I heard my aunt say, “That’s your dad, Sweetheart.”
“Really?” I asked. Right at that moment I felt like my heart was going to jump off my chest and run away from me. My dad look just like me he was tall, skinny, and handsome.
I ran toward him and hugged him as hard as I could. At that moment I knew that was the best day of my life.
By: Danicia Quezada

4 comments:

  1. I thought your story was great that you had great discription of when you saw you dad for the first time and how he looked tall, skinny and handsome.I also liked when your family yelled for you and saw them and thought you were in trouble.I liked How you explained your thoughts and feelings.


    I thought the last sentence you wrote "At that moment I thought it was the best day of my life" Was a good ending to your story

    I liked that you started in your story that you were going to the beach and at the end you were at the beach.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. I liked how you said you thought you were going to be into trouble but then they told you that you were going to meet your dad.
    2. I liked how you descrided what you thought the beach was going to look like.
    3. You had a lot of discription in your writing.
    Great job!!!! columbia eiden

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1.I like how you said you thought that you were in trouble.
    2.I like how you descrided the beach.
    3.You did a lot of discription.GREAT JOB!!!~Yesenia Rodriguez

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1. it made me wonder if you really were in trouble when they called you
    2. i never knew your nick name was lizeth that is a very unique name
    3. your personification was really good i liked how you said "i felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest and run away
    claire

    ReplyDelete