Monday, December 1, 2008

Danny Morales - "OWW!!"

OWW!!!


I remember when I did a front flip with my Mongoose bike. I went to the top of the steep hill near the hospital in Jackson. I was half way up Snow King mountain. I was nervous. My intuition was saying, “Don’t do it, man.”
I ignored it because they sometimes it lies to me. Once when I was driving to Salt Lake with my family, my intuition told me there was going to be an accident. I felt scared and nervous. There wasn’t. I was surprised and relieved to get there without harm.
Back on the hill, I wished my friends were with me. When I did dangerous tricks, they always call me Evil Caneval; he was the famous stunt man from the 80s! I waited to see if there were any cars coming. When I felt the coast was clear, I rapidly raced down the steep hill. My intuition worried that a car was going to be around the corner. I kept going, and when I turned the corner, there were no cars. “You liar!” I whispered to my intuition.
I entered a dirt road and there were jumps. I remember my uncle telling me the story of the time he took a jump. He had fallen and something happened to his leg. He still can’t walk. His story scared me, but the jumps screamed, “Come and jump! We’re safe! We’re sooooo much fun!” The memory of my uncle disappeared.
There were three jumps. The first one was big. The second one was small. The last one was medium. I skipped the first two and went for the medium one. I flew into the sky. It felt like I was floating, and I thought it was awesome. I was speechless.
As I landed, my front wheel turned to the right. The bike flew to the left. I landed on my arm. It hurt a lot. My intuition screamed, “I told you this was a bad idea! This is what happens when you disobey.” I knew I had broken my arm.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, slamming onto the road. I ran to my house, screaming, “Mom! Mom!”
She said, “What?”
I said, “I broke my arm again!” I had broken my arm before, and I felt the same pain. I felt like my bone was going to pop out of my skin.
“How?” Fear made her voice loud and high-pitched.
As I told her the story, she rushed me to her car and took me to the hospital. On the way, she was so worried that she ran a stop sign.
When we got to the hospital, the doctor told my mom and me, “He has broken his arm.” I followed him into a room and he put twenty-six stitches into my arm. It sort of tickled in a sickening way. Then, he gave me a really awesome cast with Power Rangers on it.
That day I learned that my intuition deserved to be listened to. I promised myself to never disobey again!

6 comments:

  1. *I love the way you personified your intuition.

    *I can't believe that you took that jump!

    *You did a great job with your dialogue.

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  2. Danny,
    Your story really flows well with your intuition talking to you the whole time. This is an exciting story with a solid morale at the end. It make me think of one of our new novels in the library called Smiles to Go by Jerry Spinelli. I think you'd like it because there is a very similar scene in the story. Nice job!
    Ms. Swiggum

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  3. My friend broke his arm 3-4 times.

    I like to go of jups but I don't do tricks on them.

    Ilike how you told us wat kind of bike you were riding. AIDAN

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  4. 1.conection to evil caneval wached him on tv he had some narly crashes

    2. i know how you felt i felt that way the first time i jumped on my pony

    3 good vocab and good moral and flashbacks
    hailey

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  5. hay danny i liked how you described youre amazing flip and crash.

    why would you take that jump it would be scary

    i liked how you put great personification and many feelings in your cool story

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1. I liked the name of Evil Caneval it was so funny in your story.

    2. Im surprised of how many stitches they put in your arm.

    3. I liked the description of the jumpes and when you hert your arm

    Jose

    ReplyDelete